prodigal son
Apr. 10th, 2019 10:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreamyprojectCharacters: Kaoru, Fray
Fandom: FFXIV
Rating: PG
Trigger warnings: Physical+child abuse
Summary: The prodigal son is said to return to the fold of his family after wandering, but not all sons who wander are lost.
Notes: a background snippet of a longer fic that`s still in the works and very well might take several months so take what I have, also gratutious Japanese cause its Kugane ya`ll
song looped while writing
——
A willowy figure arches an elegantly carved desk of thick paulownia wood. Naturally, one would expect nothing less in this house. Her arcing shadow stretches across the back of a boy bent over, bowing to his mother.
“My my, time passes so fast.” Delicate, perfumed fingers flick through her schedule.
Each line on the paper was another week of his life, planned perfectly to his all of her whims. Horseback lessons, harp performances, fittings for proper garb; would that she could, it was doubtless she would schedule his breathing. Anything that gave her more control.
“You are to meet with your future wife tomorrow.” Asha continues blandly, reciting her plans item by item. “And then, you are to practice your flute from five to seven.”
“My what?!” Kaoru splutters, nearly cracking his neck from how quickly he sits up. He’s learned the hard way to never talk back, but his back bows low once more like a bow snapping under the pressure with every passing day.
“M-mother…” He tries to backtrack as politely as possible. “I’m only fifteen.”
A paltry reason, he knows. Some people were betrothed younger.
He casts his gaze down, trying to hide the dark shade of guilt. God forbid he even give her the notion that he had no interest in women; no doubt she expected grandchildren.
She dismisses Kaoru with a bored wave. “The sooner we establish a link between our families the better.” And that was that. She pauses to size him up, a daily practice, looking over her neatly polished, son ready to be given to the highest bidder. Judging by the golden gleam in her eyes, it was quite the auspicious connection indeed.
Kaoru bites his lip so hard he tastes blood.
“...Yes, mother.”
Like a good little boy, he goes to bed on time and waits until the maid has left down the hall before crawling out of bed. His feet gravitate towards the pier in spite of his fear of falling into the water; he doesn`t seek it on purpose but he thinks, should he accidentally fall in, no one could fault him for not fighting the tide.
Kaoru closes his eyes, shaking his head as the quiet voice in his heart begins berating him for thinking such a thing.
Don`t give up, you can`t give up!
Listen to your heartbeat. Listen to the voice.
There has to be a way out of this.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spies a girl tiptoeing across the red blocks beside the pier.
“Aren`t you afraid of falling?” Kaoru pipes up suddenly, appearing from the shadows.
“Not really.” He`s only worth a simple glance to her, but a single flicker is enough to tell — she has the same look in her eyes as he does. Who cares if I fall in? Maybe it would be for the better.
“Let`s play somewhere a little less dangerous.” Kaoru offers, reaching his hand out.
They make their way back to the square as people continue to mill about. The glow of the full moon set the marketplace afire as adults aplenty shuffled through to Kogane Dori to spend their coin on hard earned treats and spirits.
“Shouldn`t you be asleep?” He attempts making some sort of small talk in an effort to keep his body from going numb in the night air.
“Shouldn`t you?” She retorts with a chuckle.
Kaoru smiles before lazily falling onto his side, rolling onto the bench and looking up at the stars.
“I can`t. I have a betrothal tomorrow.” The word left an astringent taste on his tongue. Omiai sounded like “meeting each other for the first time.” In what world did meeting someone for the first time mean true love?
“Small world,” the mysterious girl chuckles. “Me too.”
Kaoru sits up so fast he makes himself dizzy. “You wouldn`t happen to be of the Nakamoto family, would you?”
She covers her mouth in shock, looking him up and down in morbid realization.. “Then you`re the half Ul`dahn boy.”
Is that how he was known here? “My name is Kaoru, you know.” He says playfully to hide his wounds.
“And mine is Tomoe.” She hugs her knees to her chest, drawing nervous circles around the flower petals sewn into her dress. “I guess I should remember your name, since you`re going to be my husband…” Most girls would say such a word happily, but she looks forlorn.
“Why the long face?” Kaoru prods, despite the elephant in the room.
“I don`t want to get married!” She shouts rather childishly. “Um, no offense.”
“None taken,” Kaoru snorts. “I don`t want to get married either.”
“Oh, kami above...I’m glad you realize it`s not personal. I just don’t want to get married at all,” Tomoe sighs, looking over the waves in the distance. “I spend so much time at the pier because I want to leave this place.”
“Would that we could,” he looks out at the waves that could swallow him whole. “I would swim all the way across the sea if it meant I could get out of here.”
“You don`t have to do that, silly,” she chuckles. “You know, sometimes I talk to the merchants that come through the port. If I pay them a pretty penny, well, who knows what would happen? But…” Tomoe trails off, nearly tearing the hem of her dress as she worries it with her hands. “Every night I come by, telling myself I should do it. But I just don`t know if I have the courage.”
They spend another hour or so looking at the waves and chatting about this and that. They get along quite well as friends, and he had fun talking to her. But no matter what, the fluttering feeling just wasn`t there. But it was there when that auri boy handed him a persimmon on the bridge.
Kaoru wonders if something is wrong with him.
After they part ways, he manages to crawl back into his bed without being noticed. But it proves hard to sleep as he turns over in his head why it’s so difficult to make himself love this stranger, this girl.
“Come now, why haven`t you gotten yourself cleaned up yet?” Asha wakes him expectantly as the clock read one minute after eight. He was 60 seconds late, give or take.
“...I’m not sure if this is a good idea.” Kaoru can’t stop the words from tumbling out despite the expectation of being violently reprimanded.
That was one of two options. Thankfully, the latter happens instead, and her voice turns cold as snow. “You aren`t sure? A fifteen year old boy thinks he knows more than his mother. I see, I see, then perhaps I should ask you for fiscal advice, or which crops you think will fall through this autumn!”
“Mother, Tomoe doesn`t wish to marry me either.” He pipes up as though this proof will win his freedom.
Her cold gaze turns fiery, and Kaoru instinctively raises an arm to protect his face.
“I do not care how she feels. Even if the two of you never so much as touch one another. This wedding is not for you two to be happy.” Asha spits at him, and it finally makes sense. Ever an Ul`dahn, everything is about money, isn`t it? Kaoru thought bitterly. Although those of Kugane were hardly any better — he thinks of his father who sits passively in the other room, the long shadow of his silhouette cast into the hallway as he poured over his books.
He might as well have been a shadow with how often Kaoru saw his face.
The promised hour goes on regardless.
“...and he was once the most prized shamisen player in all of Kugane, you know.” Asha continues to sing the praises of her son`s talents.
“Once?” Tomoe`s father says with scrutiny. Tomoe sits beside him quietly, a prim and proper porcelain doll with a look of resignation so palpable that it breaks Kaoru`s heart.
“Ah, that`s right. He had a horse riding accident.” His mother says daintily, politely, and Kaoru had to refrain from snorting with laughter. Right, that was her perfect excuse for how he had ‘accidentally’ fallen right onto his wrist and miraculously injured nothing else. “Like any other boy, he practices kyoudou from horseback.” Asha feigns modesty.
“Quite impressive, boy.” Her father glances over the rim of his glasses, a stare burning right through him. “Bit of a shame though, those freckles. Would that he had fairer skin.”
Kaoru gnaws the inside of his lip so as not to scowl.
“I doubt they would pass on to the children,” she reaches to touch his cheek. He can`t hide the flinch that`s developed from one too many punishments, but manages to pretend that her hand is cold to avoid any furtive stares. “His talents far outstrip that of his looks, I can promise you that.” She hands him a piece of paper. “Did I mention he can calculate expenses faster than anyone, even those of the royal court? Not more than a penny spent that you can save instead.”
Kaoru has mostly tuned out her speech by now, focusing on the numbers instead. If he pretends that nothing else exists around him, it hurts a bit less.
Their hollow missives mean nothing to him as he blankly watches them continue back and forth, sizing him up like a piece of cattle, waiting to be auctioned. Similarly, he was waiting to be put out of his misery, and he inclines his head in defeat.
He barely registers when they leave.
Kaoru is awakened from his dreamy stupor with a slap to his cheek. It doesn`t sting as much as it used to as long as he doesn`t think about it.
“Why didn`t you speak up?” She hissed. “Not even a ‘goodbye, sir’? You left a horrid impression.”
The gaping cold in his chest makes it difficult to breathe, let alone answer. She storms out at his silence, refusing to deal with such an ornery child. No matter, she would achieve her way regardless of what he said, so he stopped saying anything.
—
“...If Tomoe hadn`t given me the idea, I`m not sure if I would even be here today.” Kaoru muses, looking outside at the same midnight sky he had seen nearly a decade ago. Some days, he wonders what happened to Tomoe. Did she follow her dream and sail the seas as well? He wonders if she still wanders these streets, married to another man since Kaoru disappeared under “mysterious circumstances.”
“Some call it luck. Some call it fate.” Fray supplies. “It doesn`t matter either way. What matters is there was a fork in the road and you were not afraid.”
“But some people don`t even get that fork,” Kaoru retorts. “It`s just one road, like it or not.” He thinks of Yotsuyu and how her parents sold her off to the highest bidder as well. Would that she had some twinkle of an opportunity come in the knick of time like he did.
It felt…
“Unfair. I get it.” Fray sighs. Where most people would grow exasperated with his logic loops, always finding a counter, Fray was patient. After all, Fray knew exactly where he was coming from, since he was there too.
“What I don`t understand, however, is why you keep lamenting the past instead of focusing on the present.” Ever pragmatic, or as he always said, the embodiment of good sense, Fray was never one for sugar coating.
“What`s done is done, cruel as it was. Both of your pasts cannot be changed. But every second you spend here, whittling away hours withnights long gone, the more you waste what`s in front of you.”
He presents something to Kaoru, who looks curiously at the persimmon pressed into the palm of his hand.
“Tsuyu was looking for these, was she not?” Fray manages a tiny smile.
——
TBC
Fandom: FFXIV
Rating: PG
Trigger warnings: Physical+child abuse
Summary: The prodigal son is said to return to the fold of his family after wandering, but not all sons who wander are lost.
Notes: a background snippet of a longer fic that`s still in the works and very well might take several months so take what I have, also gratutious Japanese cause its Kugane ya`ll
song looped while writing
——
A willowy figure arches an elegantly carved desk of thick paulownia wood. Naturally, one would expect nothing less in this house. Her arcing shadow stretches across the back of a boy bent over, bowing to his mother.
“My my, time passes so fast.” Delicate, perfumed fingers flick through her schedule.
Each line on the paper was another week of his life, planned perfectly to his all of her whims. Horseback lessons, harp performances, fittings for proper garb; would that she could, it was doubtless she would schedule his breathing. Anything that gave her more control.
“You are to meet with your future wife tomorrow.” Asha continues blandly, reciting her plans item by item. “And then, you are to practice your flute from five to seven.”
“My what?!” Kaoru splutters, nearly cracking his neck from how quickly he sits up. He’s learned the hard way to never talk back, but his back bows low once more like a bow snapping under the pressure with every passing day.
“M-mother…” He tries to backtrack as politely as possible. “I’m only fifteen.”
A paltry reason, he knows. Some people were betrothed younger.
He casts his gaze down, trying to hide the dark shade of guilt. God forbid he even give her the notion that he had no interest in women; no doubt she expected grandchildren.
She dismisses Kaoru with a bored wave. “The sooner we establish a link between our families the better.” And that was that. She pauses to size him up, a daily practice, looking over her neatly polished, son ready to be given to the highest bidder. Judging by the golden gleam in her eyes, it was quite the auspicious connection indeed.
Kaoru bites his lip so hard he tastes blood.
“...Yes, mother.”
Like a good little boy, he goes to bed on time and waits until the maid has left down the hall before crawling out of bed. His feet gravitate towards the pier in spite of his fear of falling into the water; he doesn`t seek it on purpose but he thinks, should he accidentally fall in, no one could fault him for not fighting the tide.
Kaoru closes his eyes, shaking his head as the quiet voice in his heart begins berating him for thinking such a thing.
Don`t give up, you can`t give up!
Listen to your heartbeat. Listen to the voice.
There has to be a way out of this.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spies a girl tiptoeing across the red blocks beside the pier.
“Aren`t you afraid of falling?” Kaoru pipes up suddenly, appearing from the shadows.
“Not really.” He`s only worth a simple glance to her, but a single flicker is enough to tell — she has the same look in her eyes as he does. Who cares if I fall in? Maybe it would be for the better.
“Let`s play somewhere a little less dangerous.” Kaoru offers, reaching his hand out.
They make their way back to the square as people continue to mill about. The glow of the full moon set the marketplace afire as adults aplenty shuffled through to Kogane Dori to spend their coin on hard earned treats and spirits.
“Shouldn`t you be asleep?” He attempts making some sort of small talk in an effort to keep his body from going numb in the night air.
“Shouldn`t you?” She retorts with a chuckle.
Kaoru smiles before lazily falling onto his side, rolling onto the bench and looking up at the stars.
“I can`t. I have a betrothal tomorrow.” The word left an astringent taste on his tongue. Omiai sounded like “meeting each other for the first time.” In what world did meeting someone for the first time mean true love?
“Small world,” the mysterious girl chuckles. “Me too.”
Kaoru sits up so fast he makes himself dizzy. “You wouldn`t happen to be of the Nakamoto family, would you?”
She covers her mouth in shock, looking him up and down in morbid realization.. “Then you`re the half Ul`dahn boy.”
Is that how he was known here? “My name is Kaoru, you know.” He says playfully to hide his wounds.
“And mine is Tomoe.” She hugs her knees to her chest, drawing nervous circles around the flower petals sewn into her dress. “I guess I should remember your name, since you`re going to be my husband…” Most girls would say such a word happily, but she looks forlorn.
“Why the long face?” Kaoru prods, despite the elephant in the room.
“I don`t want to get married!” She shouts rather childishly. “Um, no offense.”
“None taken,” Kaoru snorts. “I don`t want to get married either.”
“Oh, kami above...I’m glad you realize it`s not personal. I just don’t want to get married at all,” Tomoe sighs, looking over the waves in the distance. “I spend so much time at the pier because I want to leave this place.”
“Would that we could,” he looks out at the waves that could swallow him whole. “I would swim all the way across the sea if it meant I could get out of here.”
“You don`t have to do that, silly,” she chuckles. “You know, sometimes I talk to the merchants that come through the port. If I pay them a pretty penny, well, who knows what would happen? But…” Tomoe trails off, nearly tearing the hem of her dress as she worries it with her hands. “Every night I come by, telling myself I should do it. But I just don`t know if I have the courage.”
They spend another hour or so looking at the waves and chatting about this and that. They get along quite well as friends, and he had fun talking to her. But no matter what, the fluttering feeling just wasn`t there. But it was there when that auri boy handed him a persimmon on the bridge.
Kaoru wonders if something is wrong with him.
After they part ways, he manages to crawl back into his bed without being noticed. But it proves hard to sleep as he turns over in his head why it’s so difficult to make himself love this stranger, this girl.
“Come now, why haven`t you gotten yourself cleaned up yet?” Asha wakes him expectantly as the clock read one minute after eight. He was 60 seconds late, give or take.
“...I’m not sure if this is a good idea.” Kaoru can’t stop the words from tumbling out despite the expectation of being violently reprimanded.
That was one of two options. Thankfully, the latter happens instead, and her voice turns cold as snow. “You aren`t sure? A fifteen year old boy thinks he knows more than his mother. I see, I see, then perhaps I should ask you for fiscal advice, or which crops you think will fall through this autumn!”
“Mother, Tomoe doesn`t wish to marry me either.” He pipes up as though this proof will win his freedom.
Her cold gaze turns fiery, and Kaoru instinctively raises an arm to protect his face.
“I do not care how she feels. Even if the two of you never so much as touch one another. This wedding is not for you two to be happy.” Asha spits at him, and it finally makes sense. Ever an Ul`dahn, everything is about money, isn`t it? Kaoru thought bitterly. Although those of Kugane were hardly any better — he thinks of his father who sits passively in the other room, the long shadow of his silhouette cast into the hallway as he poured over his books.
He might as well have been a shadow with how often Kaoru saw his face.
The promised hour goes on regardless.
“...and he was once the most prized shamisen player in all of Kugane, you know.” Asha continues to sing the praises of her son`s talents.
“Once?” Tomoe`s father says with scrutiny. Tomoe sits beside him quietly, a prim and proper porcelain doll with a look of resignation so palpable that it breaks Kaoru`s heart.
“Ah, that`s right. He had a horse riding accident.” His mother says daintily, politely, and Kaoru had to refrain from snorting with laughter. Right, that was her perfect excuse for how he had ‘accidentally’ fallen right onto his wrist and miraculously injured nothing else. “Like any other boy, he practices kyoudou from horseback.” Asha feigns modesty.
“Quite impressive, boy.” Her father glances over the rim of his glasses, a stare burning right through him. “Bit of a shame though, those freckles. Would that he had fairer skin.”
Kaoru gnaws the inside of his lip so as not to scowl.
“I doubt they would pass on to the children,” she reaches to touch his cheek. He can`t hide the flinch that`s developed from one too many punishments, but manages to pretend that her hand is cold to avoid any furtive stares. “His talents far outstrip that of his looks, I can promise you that.” She hands him a piece of paper. “Did I mention he can calculate expenses faster than anyone, even those of the royal court? Not more than a penny spent that you can save instead.”
Kaoru has mostly tuned out her speech by now, focusing on the numbers instead. If he pretends that nothing else exists around him, it hurts a bit less.
Their hollow missives mean nothing to him as he blankly watches them continue back and forth, sizing him up like a piece of cattle, waiting to be auctioned. Similarly, he was waiting to be put out of his misery, and he inclines his head in defeat.
He barely registers when they leave.
Kaoru is awakened from his dreamy stupor with a slap to his cheek. It doesn`t sting as much as it used to as long as he doesn`t think about it.
“Why didn`t you speak up?” She hissed. “Not even a ‘goodbye, sir’? You left a horrid impression.”
The gaping cold in his chest makes it difficult to breathe, let alone answer. She storms out at his silence, refusing to deal with such an ornery child. No matter, she would achieve her way regardless of what he said, so he stopped saying anything.
—
“...If Tomoe hadn`t given me the idea, I`m not sure if I would even be here today.” Kaoru muses, looking outside at the same midnight sky he had seen nearly a decade ago. Some days, he wonders what happened to Tomoe. Did she follow her dream and sail the seas as well? He wonders if she still wanders these streets, married to another man since Kaoru disappeared under “mysterious circumstances.”
“Some call it luck. Some call it fate.” Fray supplies. “It doesn`t matter either way. What matters is there was a fork in the road and you were not afraid.”
“But some people don`t even get that fork,” Kaoru retorts. “It`s just one road, like it or not.” He thinks of Yotsuyu and how her parents sold her off to the highest bidder as well. Would that she had some twinkle of an opportunity come in the knick of time like he did.
It felt…
“Unfair. I get it.” Fray sighs. Where most people would grow exasperated with his logic loops, always finding a counter, Fray was patient. After all, Fray knew exactly where he was coming from, since he was there too.
“What I don`t understand, however, is why you keep lamenting the past instead of focusing on the present.” Ever pragmatic, or as he always said, the embodiment of good sense, Fray was never one for sugar coating.
“What`s done is done, cruel as it was. Both of your pasts cannot be changed. But every second you spend here, whittling away hours withnights long gone, the more you waste what`s in front of you.”
He presents something to Kaoru, who looks curiously at the persimmon pressed into the palm of his hand.
“Tsuyu was looking for these, was she not?” Fray manages a tiny smile.
——
TBC
